I had been made fun of and taken advantage of alot. What if it’s true? What if I thought I was smarter than I actually am? What if I can’t handle it well or handle it at all? What if I’m just stupid? Or retarded? Or something? Why is it anyway, that I’m having trouble in my learning process?
WHY?
Why can’t I be just like others?! Do you know how it feels? Do you know how it is, when you’re giving the best of yourself, the very true of who you really are, and still nothing? Do you really? I know I do, but it seems like it doesn’t matter to you. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about you, or him, or her. You’ll have to forgive me, but I’m done with it. How would you rather, for change, like to be the bad one, the retarded, and the stupid one? Because that’s the way you make me feel, when you, in your mind make a fun of me. Don’t hesitate, what are you waiting for? Do you need my permission? I just gave it to you: when I smiled insecure, or when I was confused, or by talking too much. Come on, go ahead and do whatever you wish. Go and make me do things that only you will be satisfied with.
STOP HERE!
You’re not going anywhere! Not this time!
You not longer are going to cost me my tears, nor will my sadness longer be reserved to you. My sweet smile won’t be for you anymore, neither my intimacy.
Now you’ll have to learn to deal with the new me.
Me, which doesn’t hesitate to say no, if things are not exactly the way they should be. Me, which turns and goes away if you choose to disrespect me. Me, which stays just quiet, in my own and so calming world. And you, begging me:
"Please, just say a word."
