I have experienced life in numerous countries, and have settled in many different continents, mainly getting by as a high fashion model. The book I wrote reveals the true story of a Polish girl (myself) who desperately tries to escape the emotional pains of the repeated cycles of dysfunction and abuse, originating from her early childhood. She chooses to relocate every two years in hopes of happiness and a new life, for not only herself, but the ones close to her.
This inspirational memoir describes the turmoil of being born and raised in a country under the communist regime. It shows the lack of freedom and the sense of powerlessness endured from the harsh reality of being placed in an orphanage at the age of fifteen. It describes her rebellious nature resulting in her escape from the horrifying environment, of not only the orphanage, but from the country all together. The choice of becoming a fashion model gives her opportunity to live and work in Italy, Spain, Japan and the United States. Nonetheless, however glamorous her life becomes she is still unable to break her everlasting habit of self sabotage. This inability to find peace within herself leads her to intentionally overdose on sleeping pills, forcing her to examine her life and who she really is from a different stand point.
She moves to California to try a different approach to finding self-happiness by taking on the simplicities of a “normal” life; however, she does so with little success. After turning thirty she chooses Hawaii for her new destination of fulfillment. The beauty and wonders of Hawaii still could not fill in the emptiness that tortured her, thus leading to her realization that the only place that would make the desired difference in her life resides in herself and herself alone. Exhausted from this chronic escape, she finally gives in by confronting the nightmares of her existence. She accepts who she is and slowly learns to release the hate towards herself and others who have hurt her in the course of her life. She makes a conscious effort in an intuitive way to allow herself to rebuild her tarnished self-image, creating the building steps to a new life.
